Sincerely, Nash D.

TIPS FROM HOT MEN ON OKCUPID : ( NO HOMO )

Posts tagged dating advice

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Dating Advice from: Nice Hat [OKCupid Sweet Ass Hunk (no homo)]

April 23, 2012
** Nash Note:
this guy and I became FAST FRIENDS. I may just go visit him New Jersey soon. Nothing is confirmed but friendship is in the works **
Nash D:
Lotta guys with hat pics, but you're my number 1 today. NO HOMO. My name is Nash D. just looking for some hot tips for picking up ladies. Little help from a young stud such as yourself?
Nice Hat (NH):
lol thanks bro
Nash D:
You're welcome! You got a name?
NH:
Michael
Nash D:
Nice to meet you Michael.
NH:
nice to meet you too
Nash D:
So can ya help a friend out? I just need to know what to say, so I'm looking for a Cyrano-type
NH:
Sure I mean, what hasn't been working for you
Nash D:
well first off no girls ever respond back to my messages! Unless they say F*** off! RUDE GIRLS (where's rihanna?)
NH:
lol, yeah sometimes they just don't respond to me at all... My opinion, just be chill. I mean what are you saying to them
Nash D:
oh i kinda rant a bit and a lotta one-act plays, but i figure they should get used to my true being! Right? if they're not into the Nash Show, they can change the channel!
Nash D:
what do you say that works. easier to start there than describing all of my failures
NH:
I actually just wing it to be honest. I have had a lot of misses, I just usually point out something they have in their profile
Nash D:
just a few tips, not that tip though NO HOMO.... like your hat? jkjkjk. I'M not hitting on you
NH:
lol nah I mean like I point out about what they have written
Nash D:
ohhhh not their pics? i feel that if there's no connection physically no sense in figuring them out mentally.
NH:
well that's kinda why I pick the ones that I am attracted to and read their profiles
Nash D:
i see... well i've been going about this all wrong. you're an intelligent stud. What's your perfect woman look like?
NH:
lol. Don't have a perfect anything I just go through life as a hippie
Nash D:
hippies can be hunks! who knew. are you a hippie in the physical sense or mental?
NH:
lol mentality, I just go with the flow
Nash D:
well i got the Mississippi river on my hands, but no oar in sight
Nash D:
tell me more stranger (soon to be friend) *crossing fingers*
NH:
lol. not much to tell bro
Nash D:
you laugh a lot, i like that in a friend. how much success have you had?
NH:
I've talked to a few girls... have a few numbers.. I've met like 3 on here I think
Nash D:
intimates?
NH:
two of them
Nash D:
HOT DAMN. you got swagger comin' out the swagoooo
NH:
I just get lucky
Nash D:
yeah you do *wink* (NO HOMO)
NH:
you keep saying no homo but you are doing some homo things lol. Can't dehomify somethings bro
Nash D:
So when i said intimates, did you put it in?
Nash D:
wha? i'm asking for help about ladies
NH:
lol yeah I dig that
Nash D:
i understand that at times i sound pretty gay but know that is not my true passions. my man-tamp likes the vagina
NH:
lol i mean it's cool with me everyone is their own person
Nash D:
well it's not cool with me that's why i like to clarify!!! would you go out with me? as in go out on the town and pick up ladies?
NH:
I live in jersey so nope lol
Nash D:
My great aunt lives in Weehawken, is that near you? I could stay with you or her, no matter.... whatever you're comfortable with
NH:
You'd have to stay with her
Nash D:
fair enough thought i'd ask
NH:
I live with my parents
Nash D:
i live with mother, but sometimes i sleep in my pt cruiser and pretend i live in a loft
NH:
yeah man it's a tough life... lol I plan to buy a loft one day
Nash D:
you've got aspirations... ambition out the booty!!! how do you trick a girl into coming to your parents house?
NH:
lol i go to theirs
Nash D:
i tried covering her eyes and pretending there was a surprise in my room, but mother ruined it when she started shouting about her burnt fudge (MOTHER NOBODY LIKES YOUR FUDGE) !!!! NEWSFLASH !!!!
NH:
well just go to her house, or do it in the park
Nash D:
hooboy. that's exotic and erotic. I have allergies though that always kick up whenever i'm near shrubs.... not bushes though *WINK* how do you like your ladies.. george of the jungle? or lawrence of arabia? (no greenery in the desert)
NH:
I like them with vaginas lol
Nash D:
if you'll believe it i've only had relations with one woman, one time... have i told you this story before?
NH:
lol we just met so no you haven't
Nash D:
So anyway... yeah Mother's friends got her groove back on my COCK one night when i was asleep
NH:
nice bro!
Nash D:
she was riding the successes of a well-played bridge game then rode my less successful weiner! i had courage... who was your first and only?
NH:
I don't even remember man lol
Nash D:
were you roofied? i'll punch her!! nobody takes advantage of my friends
NH:
lol nah it was a while ago
Nash D:
She must have been a real loookey-loo
NH:
oh she was
Nash D:
she must have been right and tight... oh sorry for my language, but i'm growing a barrier
NH:
lol she was, but got to go man focusing on this gal right now good luck on here :)
Nash D:
ohhh who is this princess?
NH:
lol this goddess who I want to fornicate wish me luck
Nash D:
are you two going out tonight???
NH:
nah
Nash D:
GeT iT In.... TAKE A PIC
NH:
just getting to know her so it can lead to that kinda situation
Nash D:
gotcha.. What's your home number? I feel like we should talk more. LANDLINE PLEASE!!! Your mom and I can talk, too. Mothers' of all stripes love me
NH:
lol dont' give my number to dudes man
Nash D:
NO HOMO, right? I just need a friend that will be there for me when I need them. NEVER KNOW WHEN I'LL CATCH A FERAL CAT
NH:
Just hit me up on ok cupid
Nash D:
when I say "feral cat" I mean horny pussy... you feeeel me?
NH:
lol i know
Nash D:
do you know, do you?
NH:
i do. i know everything
Nash D:
Look, I think we can be something cool. Like you'd a hot batman to my awkward catwoman... you feel me?
NH:
i don't nah... dude i'm busy man but just hit me up some other time bro lol
Nash D:
ok ok I can take a hint. LOVE YA, buddy! good night. sweet dreams, bro. *kiss kiss*

Filed under dating advice hat OK Cupid Nash D. no homo great looking male hunk stuf hunk jersey hippie man-tamp

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Dating Advice from: Scarf Face [OKCupid Man Type (no homo)]

March 20, 2012
Nash D.:
I LOVE YOUR SCARF! NO HOMO, but vertical stripes look good on you.
Scarf Face:
lol thank you for the compliment
Nash D.:
Of course. Anytime, Friend?
Scarf Face:
I honestly have no what to suggest when it comes to a guy since I pay no attention to what I wear. lol
Nash D.:
Keep doing what you're doing. You have a nice look and a great shape to you (NO HOMO). Don't mind if I do. LOL.
Scarf Face:
thank you and no offense taken
Nash D.:
good good. I like that. So, any luck on here?
Scarf Face:
so far I have met a few girls but nothing for me so far
Nash D.:
Really? You seem like a Romeo. I just figured you're climbing in and out of pussy.
Scarf Face:
girls seem to forget they are far from perfect
Nash D:
Sorry about the language.
Scarf Face:
Imao
Nash D.:
Girls are perfect. And I'm mere beast, and I'm looking for my Beauty.
Scarf Face:
Nope they are not.
Nash D.:
really? I can't get a date. So, they seem out of reach? What have your dates been like???
Scarf Face:
they present themselves as great catches and so forth but once you get to know them and they start to drop their guard, that's when they show their flaws..
Nash D.:
what type of flaws? I'm on the edge of my seat here
Scarf Face:
which I have no prob with but its annoying when they flaunt themselves as being perfect
Nash D:
Women never even flaunt themselves around me. In fact it's like that wear more clothing around me so I won't leer
Scarf Face:
I'm not sure where to start, but the last one was a grad student and was very judgment from the vibe I got
Nash D.:
Oh no
Scarf Face:
started judging me alone on txt so yah I cut her off
Nash D.:
Judgmental of you? But you're a Prince. I would be to shy to cut her off. I'd date her years and let her cut me down.
Scarf Face:
I'm not perfect and the last i need is someone to constantly remind me of it
Nash D.:
And then I go do as I do, and throw up in the bathroom. ONLY AFTER I EAT. You feel me?
Scarf Face:
not really sure if I feel you. that is a tough one to deal with..
Nash D.:
Oh. It's not your problem. I just can get unhealthy. So, can I ask you for some advice about okcupid?
Scarf Face:
Unless this is a joke, you cant be sharing that tidbit with people. people dont like people that lack confidence, or pretty much only bring sad moments to thier lives
Nash D.:
My life may seem like a joke, but it's very much a sick reality. I guess the advice I'd like to ask you is how do you take a convo and make a date? a real life, hands holding, Popsicle slurping date?
Scarf Face:
I'll entertain that question with my answer being, you cant be asking wierd questions like that. If you get me. makes people nervous especially over the internet lol
Nash D.:
I'm making you nervous? That's flattery.
Scarf Face:
not that type of nervous
Nash D.:
I'm sorry. just trying to become fast friends. I'll be gentle with my questions. Sorry. wait friend i wasn't making a blowie joke. I heard that girls and guy share a Popsicle on a first date if it's going well.
Scarf Face:
lmao
Nash D.:
I'm really having a rough go of it on here. I thought you were a sweet male (NO HOMO) that could help me out with your dating life stories, but I don't need another guy on here making fun of me. If I wanted that I'd just run into one of my Sister's many suitors and they punk me
Scarf Face:
well like I was saying. gotta be confident and not make people uncomfortable
Nash D.:
I'm screwed then!!
Scarf Face:
if you think that, thats all that will happen
Nash D.:
Ok. You're a wise. I should be cool and confident.
Scarf Face:
exactly. I have work in the morn
Nash D.:
When I write to women on here I try to be as carefree as possible in a 500 word essay
Scarf Face:
wish you luck
Nash D.:
I feel like we've barely talked about you and that's who I really care about

Filed under dating advice OK Cupid conversation Nash D. scarf accessories fast friends

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Dating Advice from: Soldier [OKCupid Stud Sergant (no homo)]

March 13, 2012
Nash D:
Dear soldier. I'd love to help you out. I can carry your supplies. Please! And in return all I ask is that you give me some very detailed dating advice. I can't get a DATE! sincerely, Nash D.
Soldier:
What do you mean carry my supplies?
Nash D:
Cause you're a soldier. I'd do all the heavy lifting, but I should warn you ahead of time my back isn't very good. hurts a lot. I probably pulled something. You're right I should get it looked at.
Soldier:
sorry man, I am not the person who u r looking for. good luck to u
Nash D:
You're handsome guy (NO HOMO) so I figured you'd get plenty of women on here. I was just hoping you'd give me some advice
Soldier:
Just be yourself,honest that's all I can say
Nash D:
When I'm honest I think I scare them away. When I write to girls on here I always write about a 500 word essay letting them know my personal home arrangements (living with Mother, as you may know and sister), and my current allergies and future fears.

Filed under OK Cupid okcupid Nash D. soldier no homo dating advice

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Dating Advice from: Bi Guy [OKCupid Long Hair Fox (no homo)]

February 21, 2012
Nash D:
Hi Pal. Hoping you could give me some tips. 1) your bi and have great hair (NO HOMO). 2) valentines day 3) questions AGENDA FOR CHATTING. sincerely, nash d
Bi Guy:
Ok... umm so?
Nash D:
1) You hair. it's nice. what's your secret? i can't seem to do anything with mine. shampoo tips? i hate conditioner. makes me feel gassy and a bit moist.
Bi Guy:
I don't use anything. No shampoo no conditioner. Let it go for a month, just rinse it in water.
Nash D:
Wow. goood genes. great really. I'm very jealous
Bi Guy:
Is what it is. I'd read about "no poo". Gave it a shot. I experiment.
Nash D:
Can I ask you something?
Bi Guy:
Sure
Nash D:
2) what did you do for valentines day?
Bi Guy:
Not much. I've a gf, but we don't really care about it. I worked, she worked. Spent the evening apart.
Nash D:
that doesn't sound like love. are you in love? not that i would know... but how would define love. I don't know much to anything about it
Bi Guy:
it's adulthood. Yes, there's love. But Valentines day? Just another day.
Nash D:
You sound jaded.
Bi Guy:
I'm 41
Nash D:
I've never had a boo for valentines day. I yearn for it. oh 41. well seasoned. You must have lessons to pass along to a young buck like myself
Bi Guy:
It's all about taking personal risks.
Nash D:
I fear everything. leaving the house is always a personal risk
Bi Guy:
No, personal risk as in asking someone to be intimate
Nash D:
physically? I was with Mother's friend once. we were intimate all right. she threw me around like a rag doll. i have scars all over my buttocks.
Bi Guy:
that's really terrible.
Nash D:
Next question: 3) Do you like women or men more... in terms of being a bisexual type?
Bi Guy:
I'm more comfortable romantically with women, but I like having sex with men.
Nash D:
Wow. you're my first bi-male friend.
Bi Guy:
My pleasure... sure you're not curious about sucking cock?
Nash D:
Ooohhh My! Well, Friend. I am sure. I am 100% sure I wouldn't like penis salt in my mouth. I am blushing! BLUSHING! my cheeks are redder than my hair.
Bi Guy:
You know girls do it.
Nash D:
girls suck penis head?
Bi Guy:
it's pretty normal
Nash D:
Mother wouldn't approve

Filed under Nash D. OK Cupid dating advice online dating Readee2Settle bisexual guys older guys teaching me valentines day

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Dating Advice from: Dad Type [OKCupid family (no homo)]

February 21, 2012
Nash D:
DADDY ALERT! do you have a baby? how old? would you consider making me your son and giving me advice like a father to a son. like only a father could. i need dating advice BADLY! Sincerely, Nash D.
Future Father (FF):
no thanks.
Nash D:
No thanks? Please. just looking for friends in all the right places.
FF:
you're asking someone younger than you to be a father figure and give you dating tips. if i had dating tips i wouldn't be on here. so no thanks.
Nash D:
wow. when you put it like that. you make me seem silly. Now I think you're even smarter than before. wish we could have been friends i'll say that, don't mind if i do
FF:
Ok. I'm done talking. thanks for the offer but no thanks
Nash D:
thanks, but no thanks? more like thanks, and more thanks, am i right?
FF:
Yes you're right. thanks and more thanks and then thanks again. bye
Nash D:
thanks. *kiss on the cheek*
FF:
you're welcome *fist in the mouth*

Filed under dating advice ok cupid Readee2Settle father figures dad friends = dad

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Dating Advice from: Drunk Boy [OKCupid AA (no homo)]

February 21, 2012
Nash D:
If you have drinking problem. just let me know and I'll help you out. then you can repay me with dating advice. We'll be fast bosom buddies (NO HOMO) Sincerely, Nash D.
Drunk Boy:
I...what? You are sort of my hero right now.
Nash D:
So we're fast friends... no one has ever called me a hero. not even Mariah Carey (the songs are never talking to me)... can i ask you anything? btw Names Nash
Drunk Boy:
uhhh sure
Nash D; Ok nice. Thanks. I'll limit to ten. ALSO FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ANYTHING. ANYTHING! We're friends after all.
1) what's the best way to french kiss a woman? esp if you've never talked to her
Drunk Boy:
usually on the mouth. but if you've never talked to her any orifice will be just as inappropriate as another.
Nash D:
Ok good to know. Thanks, Bud. 2) do you ever throw up after you eat? just to know you can? or because you hate your body (like i hate mine) NOT LIKE YOU WOULD CAUSE YOU'VE GOT A GREAT BODY ON YOU (no homo)
Drunk Boy:
I always throw up after I eat because the only thing I eat now is jello shots. After like the 15th one you just gotta puke. It's fine though. I wash the taste out with Jameson.
Nash D:
I LOVE JELLO. You must know my favorite food is orange jigglers!!!!!
Drunk Boy:
As far as I know orange jigglers are usually on a fat overly tanned girl. But I'm guessing you mean an appetizing thing.
Nash D:
ooooohh you were talking about a lady's fun bags. I am talking about cute little cut out jello shapes. In orange please. no other flavor will do. ENDORSED by Mr. Bill Cosby, fool. GET IT TOGETHER. HEY IF WE'RE GONNA BE FRIENDS FOR LIFE you need to know the history of jello. please!
Nash D:
3) When did you lose your virginity?
Drunk Boy:
It was a Tuesday. I'm not sure which, but a Tuesday.
Nash D:
recently? please say yes.
Drunk Boy:
no a lot of Tuesdays ago.
Nash D:
(that doesn't count as question 4... DON'T GYP ME A QUESTION, comprende?????????) Mother's friend took my boyhood from me at the sweet boy age of 16
Drunk Boy:
She cut your dick off?
Nash D:
ewwwwwww NO GROSS. Sicko.. No, she liked on it tenderly then roughly.
Drunk Boy:
you said she took your manhood?
Nash D:
nooo my boyhood then made me a man. it's an expression people use to explain when they put their penis in a woman's vagina.
Drunk Boy:
is this a west coast thing?
Nash D:
it's a west coast thing. Let's teach each other about our coasts. please!
Drunk Boy:
how many questions is this?
Nash D:
We're about to be on four (out of ten). You agreed to do this. You must answer all ten! 4) WHAT IS THE COOLEST DREAM YOU'VE HAD?
Drunk Boy:
It's late here. ask faster. my friendship has a short attention span.
Nash D:
hey do you want to ask me one, and i'll take that away from 2 of your questions.
Drunk Boy:
I only ask questions when i value the answers. Ask your sixth question. Cause I'm not answering 4 or 5 because I only dream when I'm asleep and I'm not awake then to remember it.
Nash D:
Rude! You talk in riddles. I like it. Makes me think in puzzles. 6) How do you make a girl orgasm with real feelings? not sexually
Drunk Boy:
Female orgasm is a myth perpetrated on mankind by the hitachi company to sell vibrators.
Nash D:
you've never made a woman smile? we're equals!
Drunk Boy:
I don't want to answer any more questions.
Nash D:
You've gotta. a friend promise!
Drunk Boy:
You're mean and demanding.
Nash D:
JUST GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND WE CAN WORK THIS OUT. verbally. you clearly aren't good at the written word
Drunk Boy:
I don't have a phone.
Nash D:
how do you get those ladies digits
Drunk Boy:
who needs digits? if they dont come directly back to my place I am not going to call them
Nash D:
if a girl ever came back to my place i'd make sure she never left alive
Drunk Boy:
Oh good. aww, we've degraded into cheesy serial killer talk
Nash D:
cause she'd love me forever. nothing serial killer about it. You're a pig for thinking so.
Drunk Boy:
God, you're mean. so judgmental.
Nash D:
*kiss on the cheek* let's make up
Drunk Boy:
You're too much. You can't demand for me to answer 10 questions. i said you could ask. Then you call me a pig!
Nash D:
wow
Drunk Boy:
and you put words in my mouth. inappropriate
Nash D:
This is getting harsh. This is our first big fight. We'll laugh about this in five years, and won't remember what we were even mad at each other about. someone will say, "oh he was being a dumb ass, and you had to correct him" and i'll say, "HEY DON'T CALL MY DUMB FRIEND, A DUMMY. ONLY I CAN" and i'll punch all over him. and you'll come over teary eyed and hug me, and say, "Thanks, Nash D. For being a friend. Please make me your special homemade nachos. You're the best. I love you" and guess what, "I love you, too" Am I right?

Filed under dating advice dating online ok cupid Readee2Settle drunks top ten questions fast friends jello dumb duh duh duh dumb jigglers Orange Jigglers

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An Attempt: Dating Advice from Hot Male Celebs (NO HOMO)

Dear Friends,

As many of you may or may not know I have started tweeting on Twitter. It’s a crazy and strange world out there.

I’ve posted previously tweets to celebs. None of which responded to me, but alas fair readers I have not lost hope. Here is a new pot of Successful Gents.

Yes. I asked celebrities on Twitter for romantic advice.

❤❤ To: Stephen Colbert aka Comedy Menace ❤❤

❤❤ To: David Spade t aka TV’s favorite leprechaun ❤❤

❤❤ To: Jim Gaffigan aka My Favorite Burly Albino ❤❤

❤❤ To: Michael Ian Black aka My Ideal Weight ❤❤

❤❤ To: William Shatner aka Captain Priceline ❤❤

❤❤ To: Penn Jillette aka Magic Stud ❤❤

❤❤ To: Bob Saget aka Warm + Friendly Comedian ❤❤

❤❤ To: Dr. Drew aka Buff Therapist ❤❤

❤❤ To: Jeremy Piven aka Muscle-Clad Thespian ❤❤

❤❤ To: Danny DeVito aka Guru ❤❤

Filed under Dating Online Readee2Settle celebrs celebs dating advice david spade hot pocket jim gaffigan males michael ian black no homo stephen colbert studs twitter advice William Shatner pen jillette magic Bob Saget full house dr drew addiction OK Cupid jeremy piven old school danny devito